Another day...

May 16, 2024

It gets easier, it just takes time. That’s what they all tell me but it’s very hard to believe that when you’re in it. It’s especially difficult when you’ve been suffering for some time. But remember, nothing is impossible for God -NOTHING! (Luke 1:37).

I know what you’re thinking, I’m right there with you. “You don’t know how painful this is, how hard it is to keep myself from falling apart and keep my hopes up. No, I don’t know exactly how you’re feeling but I do know what I go through on a daily basis.

I wake up worried and fearful about the day ahead of me. Will I feel as bad as I did yesterday or more positive like I felt a few days ago. Will my symptoms improve today?  Will I trust in the Lord’s presence that lives in me or will I get caught up in an endless loop of over-thinking? Jesus told His disciples that they should always pray and not give up (Luke 18:1).  This is far from easy, but in my experience it’s vital in the battle against despair.

Yesterday I drove myself to a couple of appointments and did some shopping in between them. I wasn’t nervous and nothing bad happened. It was a good day that should have bolstered my confidence, but the needless worry was still hanging on. I seem to focus much more on the negatives than the positives, even though there are many more improvements than setbacks. I know that this is basic human behaviour, but I’m supposed to be different. The one who is in me is greater than the one who is in the world (1 John 4:4)

As I write this, I am reminded of God’s words in 1Thessalonians, chapter 5:16-18. Rejoice always, pray continually and give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. This, for me, is possibly the hardest thing to do in this season of depression and anxiety. I can give thanks for many other things in my life but for depression, how is that done? It can only be done through Jesus and thanking Him for it tends to put less emphasis on the darkness and more on the fact that it is a temporary season. Even the darkness will not be dark to You: the night will shine like the day (Psalm 139:12).

I have a couple more appointments today, a common occurrence these days. But today is also church service – an opportunity to gather with other believers, worshipping God and receiving prayer for my struggles. It’s always an uplifting time when I experience the love of God through His people. You might want to give it a try if you haven’t before. Even if you have it might be time to give it another shot.

The Lord will protect you from all harm, he will protect your life. The Lord will protect your coming and going, both now and forever more.

Psalm 121: 7-8